Galileo

Just posted this as a comment on another blog. A famous mom blogger who is much more articulate than me is dealing with SID in her son. Reminded me so much of my struggles with my own son that I had to post to her and offer encouragement. I'm kinda proud of my answer, so I decided to share it here.

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Hi Tertia,

Just wanted you to know you are not alone with the SID/explosive little boy struggles. It is so challenging and really made me question myself as a mother too. BUT, by joining my son in his struggle, helping him learn coping skills, and encouraging him to do his best, I have helped him become a happy, smart, fairly well adjusted first grader. You and Adam will get there too.

Don't get me wrong, my guy is still a very sensitive and intense little boy and there are some ways that we are just not well matched (providing the structure he needs is very hard for me). Our relationship has been strained at times as I learned to deal with his challenges (a psychologist who specializes in SID helped alot as did OT). BUT I think now he knows that in addition to being his biggest critic, I am his biggest fan. I expect nothing less than his best because I know he can do it, but also know there are times when he is "out of sorts" that it is just too hard. I have learned that he needs strict limits and boundaries and he will push against them as hard as he can to "test" them. BUT he then does better when he knows they will be enforced consistently. I think because he feels so out of control, he needs to know someone is "in control". Could this be part of what adam needs?

As he has learned to use words to express himself things have also gotten much easier. He knows if he tantrums, we may just end up in a stupid power struggle, but if he can use words to tell me the problem (my sneaker is too tight, the sound of the flourescent light is annoying, etc.) then I will work with him to make him more comfortable so he can succeed. He also knows that I will not allow him to stay in a situation where he tantrums no matter how much he may want to stay.

Anyway, didn't mean to write a book, but did want you to know that Adam will not always be this challenging. If you continue to work with him, he will improve. Validate and understand his sensory issues, but don't let him use them as an excuse to be miserable. Help him learn limits, boundaries and coping skills.

I still tend to be over protective of my IVF SID baby. I still swoop in and them realize I should let him fight his own battles. there are days that I still wonder who in the world thought I was the right mother for this kid. Those days are getting less though and the silly, joyful days I dreamed of during those dark days of IF are more plentiful.

Good Luck!"