Live, Love, Laugh

This could be why I don't blog

2009-07-22T20:20:00.003-04:00

This speaks to me.

I think I may have quit blogging because I felt I had too little of interest to say.

Oh and Galileo's privacy. That too.

They're coming to take me away Hee Hee!

2008-12-02T08:07:00.003-05:00

I am formally declaring that by the time he turns 16 either Galileo or I will have been committed to an asylum. I have had a fairly fullfilling life, so I'm volunteering. Frankly, I could use the peace and quiet that sharing the common areas with a few psychotic co inmates would provide. ;-) Do you think if I rock, drool and blow rasberries constantly the men in the white coats would come any sooner?

OK. I will now remove tongue from cheek, suck down a protein shake, take my zoloft and start the coffee. 10 minutes to get snacks made, change the baby, shepherd the big boys through the rest of their morning routine and get out the door to school.

More Health Worries

2008-11-12T11:56:00.004-05:00

Little Bit's tests from Thursday came back positive. UGH! Don't really feel comfortable sharing the details for all to see, but its a little scary and a big PITA. Hopefully the heavy duty drug he is on will get everything under control without too many side effects. Doc didn't return my call for results until 7pm last night. She is really nice, but not our usual doc and it was late, so I didn't even mention the neuro issues with Galileo. Hopefully I will have time at Little Bit's well child on Monday. In the meantime, I will check out the parent recommended neuro's to see if they are on my insurance and if we can get an appointment.

Now, I have 3 days worth of stuff to do, 3 hours of time to do it in and only about 1 hours worth of energy, so off I go.

Why oh why did I offer to chair the book fair this year?

I will get at least 1 more bag of toy clutter, 1 bag of clothes and one box of book clutter out of here before the Vietnam Vets pick up tomorrow!

Homework Hell

2008-11-11T18:26:00.000-05:00

Actually the homework isn't hard for him, but getting Galileo to settle down and get it started is a killer. Maestro whining, Little Bit screaming, and Galileo stalling and then screaming at me made for a lovely evening. Add to that the horrible stomach ache/nausea caused by an increased zoloft dose and I am truly a mommy on the edge.

Craig worked from home today Thank God! I finally had to disappear upstairs before I took someone's head of or wrethed over someone's dinner.

Good to Be Home

2008-11-11T13:15:00.002-05:00

I have spent way too much time on the computer all ready today and have accomplished nothing, so I will make this short and sweet. I want to head to bed early so I can get a lot done tomorrow.

We went to the allergist today and figured out why Galileo has not been doing well asthma wise. His symbicort daily inhaler has been out of medicine. Its one of the inhalers that still shakes even if the medicine is gone, so there is no way of knowing if it runs out unless you mark the doses on it somehow. We got a new script and I am hoping it will help. My newest worry is the staring spells he has. My brother had petit mal seizures as child and my mom says they looked a lot like this. I have been getting aggrevated with Galielo for ignoring me, not answering me, staring off into space when he needed to be doing something important etc. I made a comment about the staring over the weekend and he got really upset saying, "Mom, I don't want to be staring, but my brain won't let me stop!". Mom and I talked and she agreed I should get him checked out. She talked to my brother about it after we had left for home and he said "gee that sounds familar". I hope I am just over reacting, but I need to make sure. I asked the allergist if she knew of a pediatric neurologist. She agreed he should be checked out, but the neuro she would have recomended wouldn't be good for this. So, I will ask the pedi at Little Bit's apt next week if I haven't gotten a call in before then.

Ok, I said short and sweet. So, I'm out of here.

Failed All Ready

2008-11-09T20:50:00.001-05:00

I was determined to do NaBloMoPo this month, but I was unable to post from my mom's computer or my Blackberry either one over the weekend. Ah well. I tried. I will continue to do my best to post every day for the rest of the month.

We had a good trip. My mom and the boys really seemed to enjoy each other. She is really beginning to feel her age (77) and isn't able to help as much as she used to when there was only one or two, but she still helped alot. We ended up not doing any of the big things I planned, but they still had fun.

Mom took the big boys on a shopping spree to Walmart one day while Little Bit and I napped. Walmart is a big deal since we don't have one. Its a treat to go to Walmart when visiting Grandma's. Since she is taking them, I don't have to do angst about Walmart's uncool business practices. The next day, I fell asleep nursing Little Bit so she took the big boys to the playground up the street from her. It really isn't much of a playground compared to the ones we have around here, but they love it. Mom laughed at what city kids they are. They loved rolling down a hill and wandering through they super tall grass. They also collected milk weed pods for making Christmas ornaments. That night, a friend of mine and my mom's came over with her sons. My boys love her 5th grader and he is actually really good with them and plays with them quite well.

Maestro also loved the dogs - a golden retriever and a bichon frise. Little Bit liked them too and was adorable giving the golden treats and hugs. Galileo could care less about the dogs and I think would be just as happy if they weren't there. Plus, his asthma seems worse when we are there. Probably a combination of the dogs and all the carpeting.

Now, we are home and the routine starts back up tomorrow. Time to head to bed and try to recover from the long drive. The kids were troopers and actually slept a lot of the way, but its still a long way to drive by myself with no good music.

Safe and Sound and Tired

2008-11-06T21:44:00.002-05:00

Bill paying, a little cleaning, packing, rushing boy to doc, collecting other boys from neighbors, driving 4 hours, settling three boys to bed at Grandma's. Now, mommy must fight off the continued caffeine buzz and get some sleep. Grandma will be out in the AM, so no help then. We will either go to the Ithaca Science Center (about an hour away) the Corning Glass Museum, or the movie Madagascar. Or Bowling is another option.

Hopefully we'll get out of the house to do something or the boys will all be making us crazy by this time tomorrow!

Forgive me not making sense. I'm delirious.

Gratitude

2008-11-05T12:13:00.004-05:00

I'm so grateful the last 8 years are coming to an end. So grateful that the victory was decisive. So grateful the election is over. Most of all I am grateful that someone is bringing hope to the United States again. I am proud to be an American today.

Happy Election Day

2008-11-04T13:44:00.004-05:00

This day makes me feel all patriotic. I hope Obama wins and I pray he can live up to all the hype if he does. Before the results are announced though I like to just reflect on how good it is to be an American Woman in 2008. Sure there are a lot of things wrong with our country, but there are a lot of things right too.

Trying to get all patriotic in order to ignore the fact that the boys are out of school, are stalling on doing their homework, I'm developing a migraine to go along with the killer cramps and dh is working late yet again. BUT its all good. I saw my pusher for my happy pills, we upped my dose for winter and I have a new ambien prescription. It was warm enough for ice coffee today and my boys are shoving Halloween chocolate my way. Yep, its all about the chemicals!

I'm a Nervous Wreck

2008-11-03T14:28:00.002-05:00

Galileo had a big second grade project and presentation due today. They had to create their "perfect pet", make a bed for it, and then get up in front of the class to talk about their pet. Galileo really did a great job, but he has developed a shy streak. His sensory issues also make him a little socially awkward. He wouldn't practice in front of us last night and said he didn't want his class to clap for him. They are not allowed to bring notes or anything to read from. This morning as we were walking out the door, he lamented "I didn't have time to practice". GRRR

I'm dying to know how it went/is going. I wish I were a fly on the wall. I typed his thoughts up for him just to get him started. As he was telling me what was special about his pet, he was baby talking. I so hope he doesn't do that in class! He did a great job on the pet itself. Its made out of a cardboard box with a paper towel tube for a neck and 10 legs made from cut up paper towel tubes. The head is a little toy basket ball. It also has "spikes" and wings made from egg cartons. He and daddy then spray painted it. I have to remember to get a picture!

Here is what he wrote about it.

My Perfect Pet

My pet is an imaginary animal called a “fly-t-apillar. His name is Snaky . He is special because he protects me from the scary things at night. He chases the scary things away. He acts like the worst monster ever, to protect me.
He has ten green legs to help him crawl up walls. He has a green head. He has 2 silver wings to fly. He has an orange belly that acts like an extra sucker foot to help him attach to the walls. He doesn't use it on the floor. He only uses it for climbing on walls and ceilings. He has spikes to protect himself. He is 17 inches long, 7 inches tall and 10 inches wide.
My pet sleeps in a cocoon and takes naps during the day. His cocoon is made out of a tough web that he makes with his feet.

Galeleo has been having a lot of issues sleeping at night due to anxiety and scary thoughts so I thought this was a pretty good creation! I just hope his presentation went ok.

Little Bit is not so Little anymore

2008-11-03T11:43:00.012-05:00

Took Little Bit to get his 2 year old pictures today. Yeah, its 3 1/2 weeks after his birthday, but hey, its 4 1/2 weeks before his original due date so we are still in the correct - "this is your 2 year old picture" time frame.

Considering its the first time he has had a formal portrait taken, I think he did pretty well and we got a shot of his long silky hair before I get up the courage to chop it all off. Then again, who says boys can't have long hair?

Home Sweet Home

2008-11-02T16:22:00.001-05:00

Just got back from 2 real estate open houses of houses in our neighborhood that I have been very curious about. Both made me realize that while it is small and needs some more improvements, our house is pretty darn good. We have done a lot of work to it and put a lot of money into it and it is almost just what we need. If I can purge more stuff, get rid of clutter and come up with a better routine for keeping it clean, then I think we can be quite happy here for a long time.
In an effort to stay accountable, I'm going to post my goals and my progress here.
This week, I will tackle mount foldmore. All clean clothes will either be put away or packed for our trip before the boys and I leave on Thursday. The kitchen will be clean and clutter free. The pile in front of my bedroom closet will be cleared away. There is more I want to do, but this is a good start.

Time to get to work!

Trick Or Treat

2008-11-01T20:51:00.002-04:00

Didn't get a great pic of my boys together this Halloween and didn't take one of the Jack O'Lanterns because they just weren't that great. The boys had a good time and thats what counts.

Hoping NaBloPoMo will help me find my blog voice. Its hard to write sometimes because I don't have a focus. It seems the most successful blogs have a well defined purpose. From food blogs to adoption blogs to blogs about special needs kids. These blogs all have a reason for being that must make their writing easier. This started as a blog about surviving depression, but that got well depressing. I was writing about Galileo's challenges, but that felt like an invastion of his privacy. I could write about having a preemie except Little Bit is well on the way to being a completely normal, happy, healthy, stubborn 2 year old. His prematurity is beginning to fade from recent memory into the fables of our family. I can be a mommy blogger, but just don't write all that well and whats unique about a mom with 3 boys? Its a struggle to find out what is interesting and what I am willing to expose to the world. So much I could write about feels too personal and I'm not sure I'm ready to be that "out there".

I hope this month of writing every day will help me define this blog as well as getting into the habit of using it.

Happy Halloween!

2008-10-31T11:07:00.004-04:00

This is the site that greeted us when we woke up. Last night was mischeif night. Last year the dead end across the street from us was covered in TP. It almost looked like snow. I know my boys felt left out, so I told the older neighbor boys (and their moms) that they had permission to do our house this year too. I would think having permission to do mischief would kind of take the fun out of it, but these are basically good kids.

Neighborhood politics and kids groups are both intriguing and baffling to me. By the time I was Maestro and Galileo's ages, we lived on the farm. There were still politics/a gang of kids etc, but it was different. It was also different times. From about first grade on, I roamed all of our farm and one of the neighboring farms basically at will. My friends and I had about 400 acres or so as our playground. Some things were off limits off course (whichever pasture the bull was in at the time comes to mind) but we still had a lot of freedom. My kids lives here in the burbs in the 21rst century are much more constrained.

When house hunting, we chose this house right across from the street from a dead end thinking it would be a great place for kids to ride bikes etc. Yet this is the first year that we have allowed them to go over there without one of us right there with them. There have been many challenges. There are basically two groups of kids. A group of older boys ranging from 4-6th grades and a group of boys around 4/5. Galileo is right in the middle. Because of his sensitivities, and social awkwardness he usually ends up running with the little boys. He seems happy with that, but it kind of breaks my heart. It especially hurts when one of his old preschool classmates is playing football and running with the big boys. BUT he has an older brother in the group and he is really into sports and comes from a very sports minded family. Sometimes I wonder if we are letting our boys down by not pushing sports more. Then again, maybe Galileo was born into the right family. If he was born into a football crazed household for example, he probably would have always been found lacking.

Helping him learn to negotiate the mass of kids over there has been a challenge. There is one boy in particular who is a real bully and loves to taunt Galileo. I even saw one of the boys who I always liked and thought was sweet mocking G. and making fun behind his back as the bully taunted him. I have no idea how to handle it. How much do I intervene? How do I coach G. to respond etc. I was very relieved when school started and there were less opportunties for all these social neighborhood pitfalls.

Anyway, long story made much too long, I encouraged the older boys to TP our trees to make my boys feel included and also to help the older boys see us as part of the group.

Now to go finish cutting Jack O Lanterns. Then off to the Halloween parade and then home for dinner and trick or treating. My mom hated Halloween. I think its kind of fun. Guess I'm living my childhood now with my own kids.

Practice for NaBloPoMo

2008-10-30T14:50:00.003-04:00

I'm going to use this to try to get myself blogging regularly. So many times I think "I should blog this" and then don't get around to it until it seems to late. Of course just as often I think "why would anyone care" but thats another story.

Showing Off

2008-10-05T22:26:00.005-04:00

We had a small family party for Little Bits 2nd birthday. Since I wasn't going all out for the party, I threw myself into making the cake. My mom was here and thought I was crazy, but it was so fun. She stayed up with me until 1 AM. We laughed and cursed and generally had a good time. When we were done, she understood why I went to all the trouble. There is a blue engine, a tender (with crushed oreos for the coal) a zoo car, a pumpkin car and a caboose. He loves his trains, so I think he liked it. He really seemed to enjoy his birthday and loved seeing Pop Pop!

Taking Joy in What I have

2008-09-11T11:15:00.004-04:00

A friend is pg with #8! I knew it would happen, frankly expected the announcement months ago and yet when dh told me last night I felt so sad and envious. The stupid part is I was just reveling in the silence yesterday and in how much easier life is with one 2 year old around. Sometimes I want another baby, and yet it would put some many things I want to do with my older boys on hold again.

Then I heard about this pg and I wanted to cry. It stinks that I can't have any more. Irony of ironies, I am actually the most fertile I have ever been. My period is regular for the first time in my life, I can tell when I'm about to ovulate, etc. etc. BUT my current babies need a mom more than I need another baby, so its just not worth the risk to have another one. I can't say I didn't think about it going to ask the doctor how risky it would be though.

Ah well, I will just have to get my baby fix with this friends babies and then hand them back to her to deal with the spit up and the sleepless nights.

Carol Anne

The wheels on the mom go spin, spin, spin....

2008-09-10T12:08:00.011-04:00

My big boys are back in school, my toddler is a dream-so easy to get along with. I have soooo much I need/want to do (including blogging regularly again) and I am just spinning my wheels.

Many blog posts have been running through my head in the last week, but I just couldn't get to the keyboard to get them down.

Best thing to happen lately is my sweet, funny happy go lucky little boy is back. Maestro was so anxious about kindergarten that he was a bear to be around all summer. I thought it might be kindergarten anxiety, but worried that maybe my sweet boy was growing up and the joy of my heart was gone. Last week he had 3 half days of school. On the second morning he informed me "Mommy you don't need to pack me a snack because I am not going". That afternoon when walking from the park back to school to get Galileo, he said "Mommy, I think I'll go to school tomorrow. It was sorta fun today. Mrs. Kelly is a fine teacher".

Maestro: First Day of Big Kid School

Galileo is having a hard go of it. Concentrating and focusing are hard for him which leave him saying the work is hard which is such bologna. I am going in to speak with his teacher next week just to give her a clue about him. I also want to encourage her to keep me informed how he is doing and enlist us in anyway possible to help him succeed. It may be just the sensory stuff, but thoughts of ADD are starting to rattle around in my head.

Little Bit is doing great! His vocabulary is growing every day although I am often the only one who understands him. Its exciting to see him use new words and to start putting words together.

We had a great camping trip at Raquette Lake. I hope to post more pics later. Only downer is that Craig came home with Lyme disease. :( We spent Labor Day weekend with his family at his parents' vacation house in WV. It was a lovely weekend, and every one seemed to get along with eachother which was refreshing.

Now, Little Bit must nap and I must organize myself so I can start to get something accomplished around here rather than just making big ruts with all my spinning.

2008-09-04T19:51:00.002-04:00

Dancin' Fool

2008-07-26T14:50:00.003-04:00

When Little Bit was learning to walk, we called him a "walkin' fool". Now he has a new nickname to add. We went to an event on our town hall's lawn that had a band. Took him a while to warm up, but then Little Bit really got into the groove.

In case you don't recognize it, thats Elmo's "Turn Around and Fall Down Dance" Oh, and the crazy feet in the sandals in the back belong to big brother.

I knew it had been a long time...

2008-07-26T14:39:00.003-04:00

but I didn't realize how long. Its been a busy couple of months. There is definitely less time for blogging with all three boys home. Galileo did robotics camp and Maestro did gymnastics camp for two weeks. The first week I was able to car pool. The second week I was on my own. One day (most days actually) Little Bit and I spent 3 hours in the car shuttling.

Now were are in the mode of 3 day/week swim lessons, staying at the pool, fighting, TV, fighting computer, reading, fighting, playing in the yard, fighting. You get the picture.

I must say the slip n slide and Cranium's Mega Fort have been awesome today. The mega fort has encouraged more cooperative and pretend play than I have seen all summer. I have been feeling guilty that we haven't gone on more outings, but today when asked what they wanted to do the kids chose, slip n slide, fort and pool. Good for us parental units as I have tons to do in the house and Daddy is bone tired. He is napping the afternoon away. When the sun goes down a little bit more, I'm going to wake him so we can head to the pool. The boys and I are all getting way too much sun this summer no matter how much sun screen I apply.

I have also been dealing with some health problems the last few months. This has made it very hard to do more than just "survive". A lot of nights, I don't even cook dinner, when Craig gets home, I head upstairs and collapse. This leaves the poor man who has worked all day, commuted an hour plus in the heat to then come home feed children and get them to bed. He has been a trooper though. I hope to be on the mend soon and am all ready doing better. I just have to rest, eat well, stay hydrated and remember to take my meds. Those are always good things to do.

Anyway, I am sure I need to fold something, clean something or feed someone.

Mother's Day Part Two

2008-05-12T11:29:00.001-04:00

By Maya Angelou

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
something perfect to wear
if the employer,
or date of her dreams
wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE . .
a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill,
and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
one friend who always makes her laugh..
and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a good piece of furniture
not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .
a feeling of
control over her destiny..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without;
ruining the friendship.. .

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder...

and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...
but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do
for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW....
how to live alone...
even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. .
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table..
or a charming Inn in the woods....
when her soul needs
soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
What she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year...

Happy mother's day everyone.

Happy Mothers Day

2008-05-11T23:19:00.002-04:00

My Mother's Day Gifts

And actually I think Galileo may have forgotten to give me something he made at school. Craig let me sleep in, scrubbed the kitchen floor and watched the boys for most of the day. I made my mom's pineapple chicken salad for my "Gourmet Gals" get together tonight. The theme was "Mother's Day" and we were supposed to bring a recipe of our mothers'. I was nervous about how to serve the salad. I knew we needed more appetizers, so I put it in endive "boats" and put a candied pecan on top. It was fun to cook and experiment when I didn't have to worry about cooking a whole healthy meal and when I knew people would be nice about it even if they didn't like it. It turned out really well, and I actually got some compliments. I'm glad I added the candied pecans as they were the complimented the most. We had good wine, good food and great conversation. This is only our second month, but I'm really enjoying it and so glad I went!

So glad Little Bit was well enough for me to go. He is finally mostly over his illness, although he is still really picky over what he will eat. I'm not sure I should send him to the baby sitter tomorrow just because he is still not eating much.

Home!

2008-05-08T17:17:00.002-04:00

Little Bit is still sick, but he is well enough to be home. He is miserable, and it is looking to be a long night, but at least I will be in my own bed when he doesn't need me!

I got huge hugs from Maestro and Galileo. I actually got tears in my eyes as we were hugging and I realized just how much I missed them. Then, they started fighting on the way home from school and I thought "the hospital wasn't so bad" ;-)

I'm not sure hubby gets just how hard and exhausting it was. I starting crying when we got home for no reason - just exhaustion and letting out the stress I guess. He was sweet then in his understated way. I just hope he will be done working soon and be able to spell me. 3 hours sleep in 3 days does not a happy mommy make!

still here

2008-05-07T21:52:00.002-04:00

It was a long rough roller coaster of a day. He seemed better, his labs were much improved, he was eating etc. Then he vomitted and the diarhea started again. They had stopped the IV, but then restarted it. The line blew the nurse had to take it out. They still haven't replaced it. Who knows if we will leave tomorrow?

Good news/bad news: we won't be getting a roommate because it is the highly contagious rotavirus.

Wearing down my blackberry battery. Post more tomorrow.

Poor Poor Little Bit

2008-05-07T04:17:00.000-04:00

Posting from my blackberry so this will be short. Currently in the hospital with LB. He has a stomach virus and got really dehydrated. Poor thing lost a pound+ since Saturday. Doc sent us to the ER for IV hydration. His labs came back so low he had to be admitted. They said up to 48 hours. I've slept about 90 minutes in the last es hours. We got a new roommate at around 3 AM. I finally got LB back to sleep and now the other little one is sleeping so I guess I should too. I'm sure rounds will start soon. ;)

Ask and Ye Shall Receive

2008-04-18T12:40:00.001-04:00

Since adopting from Ethiopia, a friend has become quite the cook of Ethiopian cuisine. We were there for dinner last night and when she asked how much pizza my kids would eat, I told her Galileo would actually prefer Missir Wet (a spicy lentil stew) and Injera (the spongy flat bread the food is eaten with instead of utensils) if she had any. He and I then both got delicious food including the missir, injera, shiro (a yummy concoction made from chick pea powder) and beef tibs. When I asked where she gets her ingredients, she gave me berbere (the spice powder), shiro a list of recipes and a mini cooking lesson. She also sent home some missir wet with us. Yummy! Thank you Randi!

I had asked my Ethiopian babysitter about berbere earlier in the day and she gave me a little tub of paste she makes from the berbere powder her friends bring her from home. Maestro and I stopped at a small Ethiopian restaurant and bought some injera for Galileo. He had wanted to take the Missir for lunch today until he realized we had no injera to eat it with. I think I can handle making the missir and shiro, but the injera may be beyond me. I may try with the boys this summer as a cooking/science lesson, but I'm not sure we will be successful. Anyway, I'm feeling a little silly since my only connection with Ethiopia is my friend and her adopted kids, but I'm still excited to learn. Mostly I'm thrilled to have a yummy way to get protein into Galileo that he won't complain about.

Unfortunately I won't get to try my cooking skills right away since we leave for my mother's right after soccer tomorrow, but hopefully sometime next week, I will be able to try.

Such A Sweet Day!

2008-04-06T23:36:00.004-04:00

We met some good friends of ours at Hershey Park today for Springtime in the park. It was a great day. We just got in and got the boys to bed. I hope to share more tomorrow.

We took the Chocolate tour at the end of the day.
Little Bit completely passed out.
The adults are tired. The big boys are ready for more fun!

Well THAT was embarrassing

2008-03-30T20:24:00.002-04:00

My car was a complete pit. Seriously, it needed to be condemned. I drove 3 other kids to preschool last week and was mortified. Tried really hard to grab them at the door and buckle them all in so the mom's wouldn't smell the fetid filth their children would be riding in to and from school.

So, I emptied it out today and had Craig take out the bucket seats in the middle row. I stopped at the car wash where they vacum the whole thing. Plus they wipe all down inside and out. Not a full detailing, but a lot more than my car has gotten all winter.

I wandered over to the vacum station thinking the guy must be finished. Just as I arrived, he moved from one side of the car to another. As he climbed in, I hear him exclaim "GOD DAMN! every time I think I'm done I find more SHIT!" I wanted to sink in a hole. It will probably be a long time before I go back to that car wash again! lol.

What a day!

2008-03-18T20:39:00.005-04:00

This is long and boring, but was therapeutic to write.

Nothing really bad, just exhausting

Baby up and down all night. He has spoiled me by being a good sleeper, so I just don't know what to do with myself when he doesn't sleep.

Dh got up with him at 6ish (after I begged) so I could get a few more winks. Woke me up from a beautiful dream at 7:15 telling me he had a train to catch and I HAD to get up. Ok, no need to yell at me. Totally killed the gratitude I felt for the extra sleep.

Galileo took prednisone last night and this morning because we thought he was having an asthma flare. His behaviour on prednisone is horrid and as the doc reminded me its not his fault. Still hard to take.

Decided not to send him to school this morning because he had a 10:15 appointment to check on the asthma. Still had to get Maestro to preschool and baby to babysitter.

Wrong! Took baby's temp as we left the house. Fever. Called sitter to cancel. Realized how spoiled I am and how much I enjoy my 2 mornings a week ALONE!

Inform preschool teacher that we may have a tight window at pick up time. She lets me know that it is NOT ok to be even a minute or two late. Luckily another mom is willing to be a back up, but she is all ready car pooling and her car is small.

Run through dunkin donuts drive through as I am desperate for coffee and am unlikely to make it to the grocery store to get some to make at home. Spend way to much money on a smoothie for Galileo because he was so polite about asking and not begging etc.

Get home from drop off to find verizon fios tech here about to leave. He was 3 hours early. When does that ever happen?! Luckily it was a fairly easy fix and we were only a few minutes late to doc. I'm relieved to know I have the electronic babysitters to lean on later

Took Galielo to allergist. Sinus infection. Needs antibiotics no more prednisone. Hallelueah! Does need a chest xray just in case.

On a whim ask her to take a listen to Little Bit. He is wheezing and has rales. Even when he needed the nebulizer last spring, he has never wheezed. He also needs a chest xray, antibiotics and an asthma med. May have pneumonia probably also has asthma.

Race down the hill to get Maestro at preschool. We are late, but it all works out.

Call childcare at the center where we get xrays to make sure they have room for Maestro. McDonald's drive through for the healthy one and then off to center.

Drop M off in childcare, take the other 2 for chest xrays. They did well, but Galileo was so impulsive from the prednisone that he couldn't keep his hands off things. He did get to see the xray afterwards though.

Lots of phone calls from/to the pharmacy and the allergists' office.

Call mom to let her know we are canceling our trip to her house this weekend.

Little Bit is miserable- crying and nursing ALL day. Galileo is upset that he has to miss school tomorrow and weds is art day which is his favorite. Maestro monopolizing my computer, but at least he is quiet.

DH gets home. I run to CVS. The parking lot is completely full. I have to wait for a space and there are 3 cars ahead of me! Line at pharmacy is 6+ people long and they have to mix my meds while I wait. People are staring daggers into my back I'm sure.

Stop for milk and a bite of chocolate. Home to arguing, crying etc.

Dispense all the various meds. I have to hold Little Bit while dh holds the inhaler mask over his face. Not sure how one person will be able to do this.

Now, Maestro is begging me to come up and hug him goodnight. And Little Bit is crying to nurse.

So, off I go. I think the dishes will wait until tomorrow!

Heaven Help Me

2008-03-17T17:20:00.001-04:00

All my men have been fighting a virus. Miraculously, I am the only one to have not gotten it. (knock wood)

Galileo has asthma but it was discovered early and has been very well controlled. Never had an "attack" per se. He is now fighting the virus and has the most horrible deep cough.

Anyway, I called the allergist and she wants him to start prednisone tonight.

Heaven help me! His behavior is always challenging on prednisone, he is hell on wheels.

I'm stretched thin on a normal day, don't know how we are going to manage. Someone send lots of patience my way.

And hope my poor baby is better soon!

Happy Belated Birthday Mom!

2008-02-22T23:04:00.004-05:00

I can't believe my mom turned 77 Monday. Her she is yesterday with my boys.

Despite my fever, we made her the carrot cake she asked for. The boys did the decorating.

Poor woman had to cook her own birthday dinner though. I couldn't face a restaurant with a toddler and no one wanted me spreading my germs by cooking.

Snow Day

2008-02-22T22:38:00.005-05:00

What a lovely day we had. Finally we got a snow day. I didn't get out when the big fluffy flakes were still coming down, but I did manage a few pics.

Baby let me sleep in a little later than normal. The big boys played Bionicles really nicely together and shared my computer with no fights. I took Little Bit upstairs for a nap, but ended up playing with him for hours. He was obsessed with one of the Hess Trucks. Putting its motorcycles in and out and in and out forever. We watched the rest of American Idol that I had recorded and then headed downstairs for lunch. After lunch Craig told the Big Boys to get dressed and he would take them sledding. Galileo took forever, but managed to get all his snow gear on with no issues or tantrums. He actually let me help him get things just right. Maestro had been outside shoveling all ready for the longest time. I swear I love that 4 year old and his attitude. I went out and helped uncover the car while Craig and the boys did our walks and those of several neighbors. (Little Bit was finally napping). My cough started up again and got so bad that Craig offered to get my rescue inhaler. When he gets concerned I know its time to hang it up. I went inside for a wonderful hot coffee with cocoa while he took the boys to the school sledding.

While they were gone, I baked bread and called his mom. She reached out yesterday with a call to Craig saying she missed us and felt distant from us. We have had our challenges in our relationship that I would like to try to mend. She is my children's Grandmother after all and I would like them to have a good relationship with her. We had a nice long chat and I'm hopeful things will improve. I have to remember to continue to reach out. I need to be true to myself and respectful of her and hopefully things will mend.

Anyway, the boys were gone for hours. I figured Craig must be an icicle since he didn't have snow pants and all the gear the boys did. So, after LB woke up, ate, played etc. I finally cleared the car and drove over to get them. We ran an errand to get more baking supplies and then came home for dinner and hot chocolate. The bread wasn't ready for dinner like I had hoped, so we had it afterwards. When I pulled it out of the oven everyone came to check it out. Galileo actually high fived me and said "Great Job, Mom!" woo hoo! Later while eating it he said it was the best bread he ever tasted in his whole life! High praise indeed. I have never baked bread before, but the kitchen aid mixer I got for Christmas made it easy. So easy in fact that I then whipped up a batch of cookies.

Thanks Mom!
(she gave me the mixer)

Craig and the boys started watching Star Wars while I was baking and I joined them after all was finished and cleaned up. Maestro has been playing star wars in school with one of his friends "who knows all about the movies and is teaching me". So he and I bought the first 3 movies while we were out yesterday (thank goodness Craig's bonus finally came). I thought 4 was a little young when Galileo's friends were all into Star Wars and wouldn't let him watch it. Maestro is a different kid though and did fine. He cuddled with me, clutched his toy light saber and made big claims about beating Darth Vader. Afterward he admitted he was a little scared and a little bored. We had such a nice night. I'm really glad the cub scout Blue and Gold Banquet was postponed.

Now, to sample a cookie and head to bed. I need to let Craig sleep in tomorrow and I have to beat this darn infection.

sick, sick, sick

2008-02-21T22:13:00.003-05:00

This will be relatively short as I have a nasty sinus infection/bronchitis and should have been in bed hours ago.

Haven't updated in so long partly because the story of galileo's challenges was boring me and yet I felt compelled to finish it before I blogged about anything else. Some days have been so difficult that I just didn't have the energy to think about his issues anymore when I actually had the time and peace to blog. I have also had some health concers which have taken time and energy trying to figure out.

I'm re-thinkinking how much I should/want to share. The internet can be a scary place and I'm starting to do some serious thinking about privacy, internet security etc. Also not sure how much of Galileo's challenges it is fair for me to share. They are his after all not mine and maybe it isn't fair for me to put them all out there in a public forum. I don't have many readers, but as a strange comment I got a few weeks ago showed me, I just don't know what whackos may find this blog or what they might do with it once they find it.

Now, to bed.

Back to Galileo's Challenges

2008-01-26T11:06:00.000-05:00

It was while he was a student in the 2 1/2 year old room that I finally started to figure out what the problem was. Someone posted "is my child just a brat" on the Parenting After Infertility board that I frequented at INCIID. In many ways this mom could have been describing Galileo, and yet I knew he wasn't a "brat". She got many responses. Several of them suggested she investigate SID or Sensory Integration Disorder which is more recently being referred to as Sensory Processing Disorder. OMG they were describing my child! I ran out to get the book The Out of Sync Child by Carol Stock Kranowitz. So much of what I read made so much sense, not just for Galileo, but for me, my brother, and others in our family.

Unfortunately, but this time, Galileo was 3 and it was too late to have him evaluated by Early Intervention, so I called the school district. We went to the meeting that would decide if they would even evaluate him for special services through the district. He did great in the meeting showing how smart he is and how articulate. But, they also did see his issues. He especially showed his colors to the social worker with a major tantrum as we were leaving. I learned later that this difficulty with transitions is typical of a child with SPD. The OT also observed him in his nursery school. She found some significant issues that I didn't even realize were there. For example, he had such a hard time riding a tricycle due to his vestibular issues.

VESTIBULAR: the sense of movement; input from the inner ear about equillibrium, gravitational changes, movement experiences and position in space.

I hadn't even considered him having vestibular challenges since he had always been such a good climber. She also felt some of his interactions with other kids were affected by Proprieoceptive Problems

PROPRIOCEPTION: the sense of "positon"; input from the muscles and joints about body position, weight, pressure, stretch, movement and changes in position.

It all made so much sense. It was also very validating to hear. I was not a bad mother and Galileo was not a brat!

Unfortunately, he also did not qualify for services through the district. The OT felt his preschool placement was good for him, but did suggest we get private OT. As we were going through the district process, we also had evaluations by a pediatric neurologist recommended by our pediatrician and by a private OT (occupational therapy). The neurologist was really obnoxious. Didn't think any stay at home mom had any business knowing about SID and thought Galileo was defiant and on the verge of ADD. The way she described him was as a future psychopath. I was livid! Her manner with her was awful and all the things she was using to base her "diagnosis" on were related to his SID (not wanting to use her bathroom, not transitioning away from the toy he was enjoying etc.).

The private OT on the other hand did feel she could help him and I agreed. Of course a former friend pointed out that OT's have a bias to see sensory stuff, but my gut was telling me it was real and should be treated. We had to pay out of pocket and get only a portion reimbursed by insurance since the OT group was out of network. It made money very tight for awhile with the 2 and 3x/ week sessions, but I felt it was important enough to make it happen.

Sometimes I wondered if it was all hocus pocus and if it was really helping, but eventually, we began to see a difference. We could go into costco without him cringing in pain at the sound of the air conditioners, we had the occassional birthday party without tears, he started to participate in music class at school. We continued the private OT for over a year and met with a psychologist who specializes in Sensory Integration issues. Both really helped. We also helped Galileo learn how coping skills for when he was overwhelmed and stopped having power struggles over things like clothing. To this day, my motto is "if he is comfortable, I dont' care what he looks like. Peer pressure will start influencing him soon enough". He does know that there are few rare special occasions like family portraits or weddings when he will have to wear what is expected of him, but we work with him to make those outfits as comfortable as possible.

Oh wow, this has gotten way to long and I fear very boring. it is bath time now. I will continue and hopefully finish tomorrow. I may post date a few posts for continuity.

Was Hoping to Finish up today

2008-01-25T09:42:00.001-05:00

I was hoping to finish up with what has been going on with Galileo today. Unfortunately, I feel down the cement steps at Maestro's school today (with baby in my arms of course) so I need to go put my leg up and ice it while baby is napping. Luckily baby is ok and there were other mom's there to walk M. in and get Baby back in the car. Craig is still at home (leaving for an onsite in an hour or so) so he was able to carry baby in from the car. Not sure what I will do about the Costco run or picking Maestro up from school. Hopefully my leg will be ok by then. There is a huge knot on my shin where I scraped it and my knee is really swollen. Of course its the one that I need to have surgery on at some point, but I am putting it off as long as possible (going on 5 years now).

OK, to the ottoman.

And Part Three

2008-01-23T09:55:00.000-05:00

So, over the top reactions continued.

When I pregnant with Maestro, I was having a lot of preterm labor and Craig was working several states away. We decided caring for a 2 year old 24/7 on my own was not a good idea. As much as it broke my heart, I started taking Galileo to a day care center 3x a week. After the initial adjustment he really seemed to enjoy it. The toddler room head teacher was very warm and nurturing. He responded to her very well. Over the summer, he began transitioning to the preschool room upstairs. It was more typical "preschool" and less day care. He seemed to be doing ok with it, so I thought we would keep him there in the fall even though I had registered him in a local cooperative nursery school. Then September came. He HATED the preschool room. Would not go in if his life depended on it. In fact it was as though is life depended on not going in that room at any cost. He screamed and cried and ran and kicked and hit to such an extreme that I couldn't even hold him. I'm a BIG woman, fairly strong, and have worked with violent, emotionally disturbed kids. The fact that I couldn't "manhandle" him into that room told me something and we left the school to never return. He started a week late at the preschool he was originally registered at and did fine. He had his issues and tantrums etc, but over all he enjoyed going there. It was a small nurturing environment with lots of parent involvement and very little academic expectation. They were only 2 1/2 after all.

OK, Baby is NOT putting up with this. I will post more on this extremely long story later.

Challenging Child - Part Two

2008-01-23T09:24:00.000-05:00

Feel a little like I dredged up ancient history yesterday and then just left it hanging. So, now while baby is sleeping I am going to ignore the laundry, the kitchen floor, the dusting etc and try to organize my thoughts. I'm hoping by writing this all down, I will come up with some ideas of what to do.

Anyway, throughout his babyhood, Galileo was a challenge. He didn't sleep on a regular schedule, only napped in the swing, screamed bloody murder when every time he rode in the car etc. Everything that was supposed to soothe a fussy baby just made him scream louder. He was a good solid food eater, but that was about the only thing that wasn't a struggle.

As he grew into a toddler, I started having more concerns. He walked rather late, but I kept telling myself it was because he could get everywhere he needed to go by crawling and climbing. He talked very late. In fact at one year old he became virtually silent. No babbling, no gesturing etc. I had him on a waiting list for a speech eval and was doing every autism spectrum checklist I could find. I knew he wasn't autistic, he was a social child, but he was never happy and I *knew* something was wrong.

In music class he would cry at the start and then just run in circles around the room. One or two other kids did it too, so I tried to convince myself it was OK. The teacher told me it was just a way that some kids react to the music and not to worry. He never tried to participate in the songs with motions, only wanted to be in my arms during the dancing and in general didn't seem happy to be there. I would have stopped torturing the kid by making him go, but he did like to listen to the cd's in the car and at home. In fact, they were the one thing that made car rides bearable.

In Gymboree, he never wanted to do what the group was doing and avoided the parachute like the plague. He loved climbing on all the equipment, but wanted nothing to do with doing the obstacle course with a group. By the end he almost always had a melt down. Yet he did enjoy a lot of his time there.

At birthday parties, he always had a melt down. He would scream and cry and tantrum over the most seemingly inconsequential thing. He usually couldn't tell me what was wrong. I would spend the time cringing with embarrassment and trying to cajole him out of his problems. After an activity was over, he would often get upset that he hadn't done it and yet at the time it was going on he would have nothing to do with it.

He was miserable in many of his messy art classes. If he got one speck of shaving cream, paint, glue, goop or whatever on his hands, he HAD to go wash it off. If I tried to get him to stay with the activity he would completely loose it. There were many a class that we had to step outside to calm down.

He had to quit a kids wood working class because he hated it so much. I knew then that he was sensitive to loud noises, so that one didn't surprise or upset me too much. He loved it the day they just did sanding and gluing, but the instant the hammers came out and the pounding started, he was out of there.

We could never go to places that I had looked forward to taking a child. Kiddie rides at amusement parks, the natural history museum, movies, chuckie cheese, somedays even Costco or the mall were all too much for him. He also hated swimming and his swim classes, although the bath tub was one of his favorite places.

It wasn't just that he had these quirks, it was his completely over the top reaction to them. (more later, baby crying)

My Challenging Child - Part One

2008-01-22T10:31:00.000-05:00

I'm so worried about Galileo. He has always been a challenge. I came home in tears from a playdate yesterday. I fear the problems are getting worse instead of better as he gets older.

Galileo has always been challenging. He was a challenge to conceive - we did IVF. Luckily our first one took and except for having a vanishing twin, my pregnancy was really very easy. I ended up giving birth to him by c-section because he flipped from head down to breach at 38 weeks. Kind of indicative of the "my way or now way, Mom" pattern we have been in ever since. My doctor didn't believe me when I told him at the 38 week appointment. At the 39 week appointment the u/s confirmed it. He was born 10 hours later via c-section.

His babyhood was very challenging. He had difficulty nursing and I didn't know what I was doing. As a result, I started to lose my milk supply and for a few agonizing days, my baby was bascially starving. I had this blissful image that when baby cried I would put him to my breast and all would be right with his world. I would be the one person that could comfort him. Instead, I put him to the breast and he would scream and scream. That is until he became listless and lethargic with dehydration. When I first took him to the doctor, I was told to nurse, pump and supplement with pumped breast milk. The next time we went back, he was still losing weight so we we told to supplement with formula. I felt so horrible and so guilty for that for years. I felt like such a failure. In many ways and for many reasons that feeling has never left me where Galileo is concerned. (I'm over the nursing issues and he was not fully weaned until he was over 3 years old, so I guess I did OK there in the long run.)

I so want to write more, and will continue later. For now I have things I have to do before I go pick up the little boys.

And then there were 3

2008-01-18T19:58:00.000-05:00

Galileo just succumbed. Wonder how long Craig and I have. I pray it will skip us, but am doubtful. Hopefully we can at least stagger it.

Thanks goodness Craig is home. He will camp downstairs with Galileo. I will stay upstairs with Little Bit and Maestro.

Forgive me if I'm scarce for a while.

2 Down, 1 to Go

2008-01-18T18:16:00.001-05:00

Lysol wipes and pedialyte are this mom's best friends right now.

'nuff said

Another Curve Ball

2008-01-17T13:04:00.000-05:00

OK, I'm editing this post because it was incredibly selfish and self centered. My baby was miserable and I was worried about housework and baking for friends? Where are my priorities?

Picture - I'll write more later

2008-01-14T10:53:00.001-05:00

Mom is here ready to help me sort and fold piles and piles of laundry. So as the saying goes, I need to "make hay while the sunshines" (as a former farm girl, that saying speaks to me and makes me smile). anyway, I will try to write more about the weekend later, but wanted to share this pic.

Spiderman Cupcakes

2008-01-11T21:51:00.000-05:00

So much I want to write, but I am desperate for my bed. 9 hours of sleep in 3 nights doesn't a happy mommy make! AND we have a big day tomorrow, so today will just post a pic of the cupcakes Galileo took to school today.

I'm pretty proud of myself. They are not nearly up to the beautiful cakes my friend, Robin, makes, but there are so much better than past efforts. And, when I showed Galileo this AM, he was thrilled and his whole face lit up. So, thats what counts! I hope to write more tomorrow, or more likely sunday.

really good day

2008-01-10T23:37:00.000-05:00

I am actually going to bed feeling very good about my day. Called mom and warned her the house is a sty. So, she had a good attitude about it when she came. I did get a lot of picking up done in the living room and on the front porch. Cooked a decent meal.Had good interactions with my kids. Etc. Etc. Galileo was a joy. It is like jekyll and hide. Many theories on what is going on with him, but I am typing on my blackberry and its very slow going. I'll try to write more tomorrow, but its going to be harder with mom here.

Ugh Maestro is coughing so hard he just puked repeatedly. Poor kid. I thought about taking him to the allergist today, but didn't. Usually when he coughs this bad, she diagnoses a sinus infection. I was doubtful at first, since he was fine otherwise. But the antibiotics always cleared it right up. Unfortunately she is closed on fridays. I think I will take him to the regular ped. I so wish we had gone today. I want him to be well for the circus. Poor kid

"Mommy, I just don't like throwing up. It really isn't any fun.". And "This is the worstest night ever!"

Better Today

2008-01-10T10:47:00.001-05:00

A couple days of sunshine have med the world of difference. Shows me I really do need to haul my ass out of bed in the morning to use the light box. Something that might help that is turning the TV off and getting my tush into bed!

Thanks Robin for pointing out I was being hard on myself, I didn't even realize it until you posted that!

Trying to live on the "its good enough" motto. Galileo's birthday is tomorrow and this is the first year we are not having a party for him. Last year's party was so stressful and expensive with classmates bringing uninvited siblings, kids not staying in the party room, being informed of food allergies the instant the pizza is served in an expectant way etc. That I told Galileo that Kindergarten was the last year for the large all class + other friends party. Anyway, we are taking him to the Big Apple Circus instead. We will take him to lunch before hand at Ekko, his favorite restaurant. Today he started asking if he could "Please have a party, please". Broke my heart. I started wanting to scramble to invite a few friends over after school serve pizza and cake etc. Then, I got a grip. My mother is coming down today to be here for his birthday and to go to the circus with us. I will take some killer spiderman cupcakes in to school so his class can sing to him tomorrow. He is going to the babysitting night at his old preschool on Friday (he chose to go). He certainly doesn't need any presents since he has yet to even open the boxes of some things he got for Christmas.

So, as long as my mom and I can manage not to fight about the dismal condition of my house and the baby can manage to not get any sicker (he has a cold), Galileo should have a great birthday weekend. Much more fun and exciting that one short 90 minute party. right?

For Alison & Al

2008-01-08T20:29:00.000-05:00

I have been posting on various parenting communities for years. One places I have been a member of the longest is INCIID. I turned to INCIID when we were TTC our first and it wasn't coming easy. Now I post on the Parenting after Infertility boards. Anyway, one of our members lost her husband to colon cancer early Tuesday morning after a very valiant and difficult fight. Alison has shown such strength, courage and love through it all. I can only hope that if I am ever tested in such a way (please God, no) that I will have half the grace she has had.

Anyway, as I was cleaning over the weekend and listening to the radio, this song came on. It is so perfect for Alison and Al and their life together that I just sat down and sobbed for them. Isn't it strange how the tragedies of complete strangers are brought closer via the internet and yet I don't even know the names of the people 4 houses away?

Anyway, Alan, I hope you have found peace and I pray for continued strength for Alison and their children. Here's to you all

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Bad, Bad Blogger

2008-01-08T20:03:00.000-05:00

21111rmSo many blog worth thoughts and moments that I just haven't captured. I need to learn to blog from my black berry. Here are snippets of what has been going on in my crazy, screwed up brain.

is my depression affecting my kids. Are they being so impossible because of me? Or am I just blaming myself unnecessarily?
should I finally give in and get gastric bypass? I have gained back most of the WW loss and just can't seem to get back to it.
will I even be elegible for gastric surgery. AFter all, OBGYN who delivered Little Bit told me to never let anyone operate on my stomach again.
HE DID IT!!! He doesn't realize it, but LB took 3-4 steps unassisted on Saturday. he did it again within the hour, but just looked at me like I was insane when I cheered and clapped.
Another Milestone: At his 15 month well child check, Little Bit finally registered on the growth chart for his actual age. Only at 5th percentile for weight, but thats ok he made the chart! Was a time he was only 5th percentile for his adjusted age, so I'm psyched.
Maestro's childhood is going to be gone before I know it and I will have wasted it. Kindergarten registration is in 2 months. Next sept., he will be away from me all day. If I want to build some amazing preschool memories with him, the time is NOW!
How am I going to find a shrink who I connect with who will really help me and not just be my pusher. A pusher is fine when I'm doing well, but I need someone who I connect with and feel "gets me" when I'm in a bad place like I am now.
How much longer is my poor knee going to hold on? I was told 4 1/2 years ago I needed surgery, but Maestro was exclusively breastfeeding so I put it off. My knee is painful all the time now and so creaky and crunchy inside that I fear it is only a matter of time before it locks up on me again. Do I go pursue surgery on it first or find a way to lose this extra person first?
Am I living my life vicariously through the internet too much? Is that contributing to the depression or a result of it? I can't live my own life when I am so busy reading about others lives on the boards and blogs.
Case in point, check out Randi's blog I await each new post with baited breath as she shares her amazing journey to Ethiopia to add a 5th child (a 15 year old boy) to her family. At least Randi is a former neighbor and IRL friend.
How do I get more close friends added to my family's life. Again I worry it is my depression that is keeping them away
I'm still (ridiculously) grieving the fact that there will be no more babies for us. I'm definitely reveling in Little Bit's growth and development and share moments of sheer joy with him nearly every day, but I do still feel a loss when another's pg is announced knowing I will never go down that road again.
What in the world should we do with our totsicles? Should we donate them to my friend in Seattle who lost all her embryos during the thaw? Can I deal with someone else raising my child? If I can't donate them what do I do with them? Pay $1200 a year for the next 5 years when they will be destroyed anyway on my 45th birthday?
Still kind of missing my fertile friend who's friendship I lost over above totsicles. She judged me about them when I was miscarrying rather than support me through a very difficult time. I know I can't trust her. This is not the first time she hurt me and yet I do miss her and her family. she helped me get started at WW and I it actually crossed my mind to call her and ask her to join WW with me again. Don't worry, L. I quickly squelched the thought!
Ooo, I could prune out one of these and then save this post for Thurday Thirteen!

OK, I think thats enough. Time to go get some sleep so I can try to start turning my life around in the morning. My house still languishes under the remnants of Christmas. I desperately need to restore order to my mind, my house and my family - not necessarily in that order.

PSA: Please check your carbon monoxide detectors

2008-01-05T11:59:00.000-05:00

A close friend nearly had a major tragedy. A pipe to their furnace had clogged and flames were shooting out the front. Not only that, but the carbon monoxide was backing up into their house. She had checked the detectors recently, but somehow it got unplugged between then and now. I can't bear to think of all the horrible things that could have happened.

Please people (especially those of you who have been going through the cold snap with us.) Check your heating equipment and your carbon monoxide detectors.

Black Eyed Peas

2008-01-01T19:07:00.000-05:00

Made Black Eyed Peas and Collard Greens in the hopes of luck and prosperity in the New Year. Didn't have a recipe, so I want to type up what I did so I can repeat it. I got a "Wow this is GOOD Mom! Thank YOU!" from Galileo. I think my luck is all ready changing if the pickiest kid in the world can thank me for my cooking.

1 (16 oz) bag Black Eyed Peas ( I got the last black eyed peas in the whole store!)
Water
Kielbasa
Sweet Onion
Garlic
Thyme
dash red pepper
chicken broth
2 Bay Leaves.

1) Boil water. Rinse and pick over black eyed peas.
2) Place black eyed peas in boiling water for 4 minutes. Cover tightly and turn off heat. Let sit for an hour.
3) Slice and Sautee Keilbasa. Remove to large soup pot.
4) Chop onion and sautee in Keilbasa fat. Add minced Garlic, thyme, and red pepper.
5) Drain Black Eyed Peas and add to soup pot with Keilbasa.
6) Cover with Chicken Broth
7) Add Onion and spice mixture and Bay leaves.
8) Simmer for ~ 1 hour
9) Serve with Brown Rice, collard Greens and corn muffins

I didn't care for the collard greens much and neither did the boys, but Craig loved them.

I just sauteed onion, chives, a few jarred pimiento peppers garlic and a touch of tobasco in Bacon Fat. Added the collard greens. Added a little of the broth from the Black Eyed Peas above to steam. Threw in some apple cider vinegar and brown sugar and just cooked the life out of them. When they were dark green, I turned off the heat and left them covered to wait for the other things to finish cooking.

I'm proud of myself for creating something new and yummy and I think this will be a New Year's Tradition in this house now. Sitting down to a nice home cooked meal was a nice way to wrap up this school vacation. Now, time to sort clothes, clean the kitchen, pack lunches etc.

Happy New Year!!!

Made it to Mom's

2007-12-27T14:13:00.000-05:00

A 4 hour trip started late and took 6 hours with kids. We had to stop 6 times for various kids needs. It was a nightmare. When we got here, Mom was upset that we were so late. Then it took a couple of hours to settle the kids. Only saving grace was that the baby slept in today. So, I'm not as exhausted as I could be.

I do feel like a jerk though. Mom told me her cousin's wife died in November. I had no idea. Glen is one of my favorite people even though I don't know him very well. I guess in the craziness of life, mom just hadn't thought to tell me. I sent a Christmas card addressed to both of them. I think I even wrote "hope you are both well" in the note. ARRRGH! I wish I had known. I was so proud of myself that I wrote notes in most of the long distance cards. Now, I wish I hadn't. Oh well.

Time to go do Christmas with my family.

Happy Happy Everyone!

Some Christmas Pictures

2007-12-25T19:52:00.001-05:00

Really concentrated on video taping for Grandma since this is the first year she wasn't with her grandsons on Christmas morning, so we didn't get many pictures, but we still got a few.

Before Santa's Arrival

Making Gingerbread Houses on Christmas Eve

Galileo's House

Maestro's House

Posing with Tyco Terrainiac
Santa had to grab this at the last minute ;)
Little Bit Loved this Ball and has become quite a ham!

Merry Christmas!
Thanks for Looking

Santa Did Good!

2007-12-25T19:41:00.000-05:00

December was a bit of a roller coaster with the depression and keeping up with holiday madness. Tried really hard to do things that would make an impression/memory for my kids and let go of things that would just stress me out.

Anyway, the kids are happily playing TOGETHER with the Playmobile Castle that Maestro got. I really wanted to encourage pretend play and this seems to be doing it. Apparently M's knight is named Tom and Tom's horse is named Tim. LOL! We made them break to sing Happy Birthday to baby Jesus and to eat cupcakes. I really wasn't sure that even the promise of a sugar high was going to tear them away. (Knowing they would each be blowing out their own candle did it the little pyros!) Now, they are right back at it-crashing through walls, making horses talk and negotiating with eachother. Daddy and I are ready to collapse, but they are still going strong.

No extended family here today. Its been strange but great. Lots of peaceful time together with just us. Having ALL 5 of us together and connecting so rarely happens these days. We need to carve out time and make it happen.

Tomorrow, we leave for my mom's, 4-5 hour drive. Then, Saturday we leave there and head toward Craig's sister's in PA. I think we will drive straight there instead of coming home first and either drive partway and stay in a hotel or stay in a hotel near Amanda. Either way, its going to be a busy few days. I'm glad we had this peace and respite amid all the chaos.

Now, I must pack and tidy up some. We would love to shock my mother by actually getting there before dark.

Merry Christmas All

My Little Dare Devil

2007-12-18T16:34:00.000-05:00

I'm so in trouble. Little Bit has learned the joy of balancing and climbing.

A couple of weeks ago. Standing on the "SIT and spin" with no hands.

Today

Reaching for the timer daddy used to plug in christmas lights partly to keep them out of reach!

And this big brother is why your art supplies must go back in your desk in the sun room when you are done with them.

Getting ready to climb down. At least he mostly knows to go backwards.

So, if I'm not blogging much, you know it may be because I'm chasing my monkey.

Elf Yourself

2007-12-09T19:55:00.000-05:00

Very Cute video from elfyourself.com

Wednesday Accomplishments

2007-12-05T17:28:00.000-05:00

Walked Galileo to school (its not far, but I usually drive, drop him off, and then take the little boys on to the babysitter and Maestro's school. Since Little Bit didn't have babysitter today, I decided we should walk. Then we walked home, loaded up the little boys and headed to M's school).

Went to the grocery store to picked up the ingredients to make dairy free muffins for M's school tomorrow since I'm helper. Also got baby food and some things for tomorrows dinner. Yay me!

Cleaned the kitchen including scrubbing all the Thanksgiving mess of the stove. (I didn't do much in there last night, so it was a MESS)

Went through the boxes and bins of boots etc in the old coat closet in preparation for moving the brooms etc in there. One more box to go!

Picked up, straightened and swept living room/entry.

Brought a friend home from preschool with Maestro to help out his mom whose babysitter canceled last minute. He was here until right when it was time to get Galileo

Let Galileo play with his best friend on the playground despite the snow and cold. Even the crossing guard thought we were nuts!

Hey, I'm doing pretty well today. Need to go put the stove back together and get dinner in the stove.

I did up my meds for a few days to try to help kick start me back in to a good place. Just being able to put order in the house will help me maintain better.

Sorry to any readers that this is such a boring listing. Since I think I don't have many readers, I figured I using it in this way helps me, so I'm going to do it. Next time I feel like a failure, I can look over today's list.

Tuesday's Accomplishments

2007-12-05T17:24:00.000-05:00

Made the bed

Baked Cookies with Maestro

Went to my annual gyn exam even though my child care fell through and I had to take both Little Boys with me.

I think there were more, but I can't remember. I really need to blog on the day things happen. I know I was writing an entry in my head all day, but now I can't remember.

I'm Struggling

2007-12-03T09:59:00.001-05:00

This blog started a few years ago as a way for me to cope with my life long depression. I was doing well and stopped blogging. When I got back to blogging, I changed my opening blurb because I really was not dealing with depression anymore. I take my medicine every day (mostly, I do forget here and there) and just get on with my life. I was especially proud that I wasn't hit with PPD after Little Bit was born almost 8 weeks early. If there was ever a time that could trigger an episode, that was it. (I did have a pretty severe episode when I went off my meds in the first trimester with Little Bit. I knew when the shrink suggested it that it was a bad idea, but I tried it)

Anyway, I did really well this fall until the time change. It came later this year and I think that is part of what threw me off. I did so well through all of October, that I wasn't expecting the crash. The time change coupled with many days of cloudy, rainy weather really threw me for a loop. Luckily, I realized what was happening and got to the shrink. He suggested a light box. I had asked about one in past seasons and he said it was too late. This year he said if I got one right away, it could work.

That was a month ago. It took me awhile to decide on one and then they had issues with my credit card. If all goes well it should arrive today. It takes up to a week to work. Biggest issue is going to be hauling my butt out of bed in time to use it every day.

In the meantime, I have been trying to cut myself a break and to make small steps to make myself feel better. Luckily, Craig and I are doing better. (I wrote about a relationship that was upsetting me a few weeks ago. My marriage was in something of a crisis, but we seemed to have gotten through it).

We are treating this episode as if I have a chronic physical illness like RA or MS and this is a flare. Actually, I know my depression is physical. It is a definite chemical imbalance in my brain that I will battle the rest of my life, but it is hard to remember that sometimes. I feel so pathetic. I'm not dealing with death or serious illness in my family, money is tight, but I have no problems feeding, clothing, sheltering my kids etc. So what do I have to be depressed about? I know women dealing with those issues and they are doing just fine and holding it all together. Then I remind myself that I would be fine to if my serotonin levels were ok. And I will be fine again.

I'm also trying to take baby steps toward helping myself. Part of my problem is the chaos in our house. It brings me down and makes me feel even more overwhelmed. It was started by the construction and excacerbated by changing seasonal clothes, getting out holiday stuff etc. BUT, I CAN make progress. I am trying to find one good thing I have accomplished every day to feel good about. Even if a million things remain undone at least I did ONE thing. I may start listing those things in my blog every day as a reminder. Sort of an online cognitive therapy excercise.

Friday: I made a costco run with both younger boys. not a big deal on a normal day, but hard to do when you feel like you are moving through thick thick molasses and your patience is thin as a dime. Also let the boys play for a long time at the playground after school despite the freezing cold.

Saturday: 1) I volunteered at the school book fair and had a really good time. Galileo came with me and was so well behaved and so helpful at the end packing up and breaking down displays. I was so proud of him. 2) I managed to keep the baby alive despite a horrible brain crushing migraine so that Craig could get the Christmas lights up.

Sunday: 1) taught the boys how to make paper snowflakes and helped JD make online snowflakes. At this site. 2) Took the baby up for a bath and bathed he and Maestro while Craig and Galileo finished dinenr. Again, something I take for granted on a normal day, but it took all my will power last night. 3) Folded and put away hamper after hamper of laundry. Only got about half way done, but its a start. Also cleaned out the too small clothes from the baby's dresser.

Today: Cleaned the kitchen including sweeping the floor. Hope to get it mopped soon. Went through the boys Christmas gifts with Craig to make sure I had it even. May get one or two more things and need stocking stuffers. Took baby to doctor for his cold - no big deal, but took time energy from other things

Today's Remaining Goals: Mop the kitchen floor, buy groceries either online or in person, make baked beans for dinner to have with the bagel dogs Maestro has been begging me to make. I know, not so healthy, but at least its not McDonald's. I have a lot more I would like to get done, but I think this is enough for now.

Tree Of Thanks - Better Late than Never

2007-11-28T11:25:00.001-05:00

Here is our tree of thanks Not very pretty, but a great excercise for the boys. Galileo really got into it! I hope to post a pic with both of them later as well as a list of what the leaves said. for now. I need to run to the local toy store for a couple of Christmas presents. They are offering 10% of today's sales to my son's preschool.

It was a Happy Happy Day

2007-11-24T13:40:00.000-05:00

I'm happy to say Thanksgiving went very well.

I cooked while Maestro was in preschool the day before. After I picked him up, I brought him home for lunch, peeled some sweet potatoes and then went to get Galileo. We all four went to Chuck E. Cheese where we met with Jonathan's best friend and his mom and sister. D. is becoming a good friend of mine so, it was a good time for all of us. We were there for hours and hours and hours. When we got home at 6:30, we found Craig had left for the office. He was suddenly having issues signing in to work from his laptop and wanted to get it to the tech people so they could fix it on Friday. I had a heart stopping moment when he told me he couldn't log in to the network. His company has been hit hard by the mortgage crisis and has been going through many lay offs. I was afraid his inability to log in meant he had been laid off. Luckily, I panicked for nothing. He was actually able to get his lap top working himself by loggin in at the office, so I guess it was good he went in to work.

I quickly fed the boys dinner and bundled them upstairs. I let them watch TV in my room until Craig came home. Thank Goodness for PBS kids on Cable. I was exhausted and my arthritis was acting up after hours on my feet holding Little Bit and chasing the big boys. I knew I should go downstairs and cook/prep some more, but I just couldn't. I took an ambien and went to sleep. Best move I could have made.

Thanksgiving morning I was up bright and early and cooked the rest of the day. when the big boys woke up, I did take a break to get them started on our "Tree of Thanks". We mixed brown paint, painted a big tree and then they cut out leaves and wrote what they were thankful for on them. I will take a pic later and post all the things they said. Some of them really warmed my heart.

Nana & Pop Pop showed up about 2 hours after the turkey was done. It was still a last minute scramble to get everything else done, but it all worked out. The gravy was gross, the potatoes were only OK and the pie crust was soggy. I was proud of myself though because I didn't stress out, I didn't get mad at Craig or yell at the kids. I didn't try to make it perfect and it was good enough. Most importantly my boys had a good day.

The next day I woke up with no voice and Little Bit's cold.

Today, we are heading to Craig's parents. His highschool reunion is tonight and Nana & Pop Pop are taking the kids. Of course we haven't packed and are running really late ( I had hoped to be there by now), but I did find a dress to wear in the attic and so we are off again.

such a dry boring post. I really must learn to do short posts more often.

I

Gotta Get Cooking!

2007-11-20T21:44:00.000-05:00

Just found out my In-Laws are coming for Thanksgiving. We hosted them last year and I had a preemie that I was still pumping for and feeding round the clock, so how bad could this be? I just have to get the kitchen back into a reasonable state that I can cook some today and get the house remotely organized.

MIL was here helping February after my hernia operation and was appalled at the state of my house and the state of my laundry. In the mean time, she was exhausted by running the big boys. My mom did all the baby care and all the cooking. She is just clueless and I have to not get stressed by it. I just have to keep telling myself if my men have a good holiday then that is all that matters. Having Nana and Pop Pop here will make it more fun for the boys, so they will be here.

Does add a level of stress though in that I now have to give a time when dinner will be served and I can't just throw a turkey and some stove top stuffing on the table and call it a day ;)

Here is the menu:

Turkey
(I'm considering brining it. Craig thinks its not worth the effort)

Homemade cranberry sauce
(and will ask MIL to bring the canned crap since they (and ds) like it)

Mashed potatoes and Gravy
(bought the jarred stuff just in case. Last year's gravy was a disaster)

Sweet Potatoe Casserole with yummy pecan topping and marshmallows
(oh crap I forgot the marshmallows!)

Curry Cornbread stuffing
(although I still may also resort to stove top since Galileo doesn't liek curry)

Corn Broccoli Casserole

Spinach Cream Cheese Casserole

Green Beans

Homemade Pumpkin Pie
(experimenting with fresh pumpkin yes I'm insane)

Pecan Pie (because its the only pie I really like)

Hmm, just realized there is no salad may ask MIL to bring one.

OK, I have 2 hours and 15 minutes until I have to go pick up Maestro and one of his classmates. 90 minutes later, I pick up Galileo and we go somewhere fun with his best friend, E, E's sister and mom.

I'm also hoping to get a "thanful tree" painted (or outlined for them to paint) so they can add leaves as a craft activity tomorrow to keep them excited.

So, as Maestro would say:

"ROCKET BOOSTERS ON! BLAST OFF!!!"

edited to add " ugh! the contractor just showed up" Luckily he has agreed to work on the coat closet in the living room.

Snow Delay

2007-11-19T09:59:00.000-05:00

woke this morning to a beautiful blanket of white and green/brown. Galileo insisted on making a snowman, um snow lump, on the deck before school. I was excited to see snow since I am an upstate NY girl at heart and it just doesn't snow enough in Jersey for me. BUT there was a snow delay which bummed me out. No, not a school delay, a delay in construction. Rob only has a little of finishing work to do. Moulding, hanging the closet door, putting up the rod etc. BUT he has to set up his saws etc on the deck and can't do that in the snow.

I wanted to put my kitchen back together tonight and start cooking tomorrow. sigh.....

I just keep telling myself we don't have any guests coming and if all we end up with is Turkey and stuffing from a box it will be ok!

In the whole scheme of things life is ok.

Sick Baby

2007-11-15T12:14:00.000-05:00

Little Bit has a cold but is acting much sicker than usual. His fever has risen from 100.0 to 102.6 in 90 minutes. He is lethargic and soooooo fussy. Poor little man. He also has a pimple on his cheek which has Dad a bit freaked out because of all the MRSA scares. So, I'm taking him to the pedi. I'm sure they will tell me its all nothing, but I guess its better to make sure. Its pouring rain and cold and I hated having to take him out in the rain to take his bro's to school. I guess thats the price to pay for having older brothers who adore and entertain you.

Its going to be an interesting afternoon/evening. I wanted to take a meal to a friend who is going through a rough time and now I don't even know if I will be able to feed my own family. I can't put LB down. Typing one handed and peeing with a baby in my arms seem to be what my life is reduced to today.

Such a Bad Blogger

2007-11-14T14:09:00.001-05:00

Things are so chaotic around here that I just haven't felt centered enough to post. That probably means that is when I need to post the most!

Of course some of what I need to vent about regards a relationship with another, and I dont' really think it is fair or respectful to air that here. I'm having a hard time being cheerful and light while feeling sad and angry and yet can't post about what is going on to make me feel that way. Don't want to be a shallow blogger and so I don't blog at all.

I admire my friend Randi who can blog about her life warmly and articulately. She reveals herself and her life in a confident inspiring way even when things are going horribly for her. ANd she doesn't make anyone else or herself look bad in the process. Its an art and a gift.

Anyway! we spent a long weekend at my mothers. The last day and a half were really good. Before that I was a stress puppy, exhausted, annoyed by my brother, annoying to my mother and on eggs that my kids were going to get yelled at by one of them for just being kids. Result was that I was lunatic mom and yelled at them much more than necessary.

We did have one beautiful afternoon when I walked them up to the playground on my mom's road. It is ancient and doesn't have much equipment, but they love it. Galileo when exploring and founds some trails through a field behind the playground so we went it cxploring. We collected milkweed pods for making into Christmas ornaments, and other seed pods for one of Galileo's extra credit projects for school. I also found sumac and elderberries and some weeds that I remember from my childhood and was able to teach the boys about them. I never realized just how different the flor in NJ is from that of central NY. I wonder if that is the minor difference in climate or if it a rural vs. suburban difference.

Ah well, need to go pick up maestro from a playdate and Galileo from school. I picked up a new art project to do while at IKEA. They are similar to the recalled aquadots, but they have to be ironed to get them to melt together. I think the boys want to do this after G's homework is done.

Painting is 1/2 way there

2007-11-05T11:05:00.000-05:00

This is just the primer, but it is the same color as the paint. Benjamin Moore "Homestead Green" Hard to get a good picture facing the slider, but it gives you an idea. We haven't redone the cabinets to the right in what used to be the Butler's Pantry yet. We will do those after the holidays.

The Brown on the floor is where the old wall came out. There was also a broom closet there. It is amazing how much this opens up the kitchen! Now I can't wait for the new floor.

The Paint matches the counters and backsplash a little more than intended. Oh well...

Maestro couldn't wait to get in on the painting action. Not sure what that expression is about. Maybe he was perturbed at me ruining his rythym?

Here is a sample of the new floor that is going in this week. Hopefully it all looks good together. I'm so bad at this decorating stuff!

Halloween Pics

2007-11-03T16:42:00.000-04:00

No time to post because we are desperately trying to get the kitchen painted before the floor guy comes. He is coming a day earlier than planned, so the pressure is on!

BUT, I wanted to make sure I got the halloween pics up before Thanksgiving rolls around.

Feeling Spoiled and Decadent

2007-11-02T08:39:00.000-04:00

A mom of a classmate of Matthew's just picked he and Jonathan both up to drive them to school. I drove her daughter yesterday and so she said she would drive both of mine today. She also said, "that way you can stay in your pajamas". I NEVER come downstairs without clothes on, unless I'm in search of clean jeans to immediately put on my body.

Well, I took her advice and she was right. I had to search for a robe and slipper socks since my pj's consist of an overly big tshirt. I finally found and snuggled into a big fluffy robe that mom got me last year for the hospital. It was way to warm at the time for my hormonally charged body but it was perfect for sitting on the front porch in the chilly fall morning waiting for Alyssa to arrive.

After the boys left, I got a glass of juice and then nursed Nathaniel. He actually fell asleep in my arms which never happens these days. I took him up to my bed and curled up next to him for a wonderful hour long snoozefest. He NEVER sleeps next to me, so this was really special.
I'm getting sick and have the cold sore from hell, so this sleep was precious.

Now, I'm up, showered. Matthew is home, he and Nathaniel is fed, so I think we will go visiting. Thanks to Alyssa and to all the Mom's who take care of other Mom's. I'll give some good mom Karma back tot he world soon.

Just got back from visiting. Renee gave me quiche, coffee and inspiration. I will make my home a calm oasis for my family and friends like she has!

Looky what we found

2007-10-22T16:12:00.000-04:00

Having an old house (1927) can be challenging, but it can also be really fun. We made a bizarre discovery when pulling down the plaster ceiling in the kitchen. No treasure or anything, but just a reminder that we are not the first owners of our house.

Its a Ipanema shoe from Brazil size 7 1/2. I'm a size 10, so its definitely not mine. Just makes me wonder about who wore it and how in the heck it got in our kitchen ceiling!

My three sons

2007-10-20T13:58:00.000-04:00

Just had to share a pic

God I love them!

Going through withdrawal

2007-10-18T12:48:00.001-04:00

We have been going through some construction that has made it very difficult to use my computer. It will be so worth it though. We live in a small 1920's colonial that is not great for a family in the 21rst century. Our kitchen is very small and when we added the sliding glass door to a deck, it made our eating nook very cramped. Once Little Bit is out of his high chair, we won't be able to eat in the kitchen as a family. That might be ok except that we keep the dining table folded up and pushed to the side to make room for the mini trampoline and Little Bit's pulling up toys.

Anyway, I don't have any before pics handy, but here are some during pics:

Looking in through the sliding glass door

The T in the floor used to be a wall. There used to be a small broom closet in front of the lathe beside the slider.

The beam that we had to put in because the wall we removed was load bearing.
Looking from the Bathroom. Dining room door is on the left.
Plastic covers the butler's pantry cabinets.

I'm very hopeful that this will expand the floor space of our kitchen enough that we can make do with this house for at least a few more years if not longer.

Happy Birthday Little Bit - Pictures

2007-10-08T14:32:00.001-04:00

GRRR! Can't get the pics to post the way I want, but can't take any more time!

So much to say, but too much to do. We had a lovely day yesterday participating in a Miracle Walk for the NICU where Nathaniel spent the first weeks of his life. What a great first birthday party!

Here is my little man a year ago:

The night he was born

I think this is my first visit to him at 1-2 days old

12 days old

Doing the "car seat challenge" in order to be cleared to come home

Its like a knife in my heart to look at some of these pictures. I'm forming an essay in head about what it is like to be a NICU mom. Even when it has a happy ending like our did, the days I couldn't even touch my baby have left a scar on this mother's soul.

And here are the pictures that bring joy to this mother's heart. I can not believe this little man is the same baby.

At his "party in the park" after the walk

We had ice cream cone cupcakes. Our family's tradition is to strip baby down and give them a piece of cake on their first birthday and let them get as messy as possible. Once Little bit figured out what was going on, he really seemed to enjoy it! I think a couple of our friends were appalled at how messy we let him get. I figure I'm the mom of 3 boys, I better get used to mess!

I can't believe I didn't get a good picture of the whole family or of at least the three boys together. Oh well, I have lots of good pictures in my head.

Now, I must go empty the kitchen and the front corner of the living room. The contractor will be here to demo the kitchen wall and build us a coat closet. YAY

Glad its not a year ago

2007-10-06T22:26:00.001-04:00

OK, I'm feeling slightly better now. so glad its not a year ago. Even with this killer cramps, I know I don't feel as bad as I did then contracting and on Magnesium and scared out of my mind for my baby. Even though I felt like crap today and Little Bit spent the day screaming (teething?) I know how lucky and blessed I am. I will post then and now birthday pictures tomorrow.

The cupcakes are baked, most of the supplies are packed up. I'm printing pictures to put on the sign. Then its off to bed.

Raging Lunatic!

2007-10-06T20:17:00.001-04:00

I wanted to write a whole mushy entry about how glad I am it is not a year ago, how blessed I am, yada, yada, yada. That may be true, but Auntie dear decided to show up on Thursday, the wench! First time since Little Bit was born and she had to chose his birthday weekend. That is what I get for having a child night-wean so soon. I didn't get AF for at least a 2+ years with both of the older boys. GRRRR!

I went to the gyn.on Thursday. My mom missed the funeral of a good friend in order to come down and help me with child care. I'm sitting there on the table in the robe that barely covers me still unfolding the paper drape when doc walks in. She tells me I have to reschedule. GRRRR! At least she did give me a prescription for a pelvic u/s. Of course if a cyst is the issue it will likely leave town with Auntie dear.

Ah well, we are doing the miracle walk tomorrow. I have cupcakes to bake and snacks to pack up. I decided to go simple and just have fruit and cheese and crackers in the park after the walk. Dh thinks I should serve heartier fair, but oh well. I am baking cupcakes in ice cream cones and will let the kiddos decorate them. They can play on the playground, eat sugar and drink sugar (got koolaid) what could be better. Galileo has another party to go to at 2 pm.

These d*mn cramps better be gone and I better stop bleeding like the proverbial pig. If I go through a super tampon/pad combo as quickly as I have today (2 hours) I'm in big trouble!

Carol Anne

TT#2 13 things to tell the doc tomorrow

2007-10-04T13:32:00.000-04:00

Thirteen Things To Tell the Gyn. Carol Anne

Trying to remember all the weird symptoms and other information that I need to tell the doc tomorrow at my annual check.

1) constant pain on left side

2) Pelvic Pain

3) digestive upsets

4) bloating/extreme Gas

5) Latex Allergy

6) painful intercourse

7) gall bladder u/s normal

8) Low Back Pain

9) itching/burning

10) abdominal pain so bad that it hurts to snuggle with 4 year old.

11) nausea

12) Hernia repair 2/07

13) hospitalization for staph infection 3/07

Kind of a long boring (somewhat gross list). But I have waited a few weeks for this appointment and don't want to forget anything. My mom is actually driving down from central NY so that I can go to this apt without kids. DH is even worried

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Galileo

2007-10-04T11:12:00.000-04:00

Just posted this as a comment on another blog. A famous mom blogger who is much more articulate than me is dealing with SID in her son. Reminded me so much of my struggles with my own son that I had to post to her and offer encouragement. I'm kinda proud of my answer, so I decided to share it here.

"
Hi Tertia,

Just wanted you to know you are not alone with the SID/explosive little boy struggles. It is so challenging and really made me question myself as a mother too. BUT, by joining my son in his struggle, helping him learn coping skills, and encouraging him to do his best, I have helped him become a happy, smart, fairly well adjusted first grader. You and Adam will get there too.

Don't get me wrong, my guy is still a very sensitive and intense little boy and there are some ways that we are just not well matched (providing the structure he needs is very hard for me). Our relationship has been strained at times as I learned to deal with his challenges (a psychologist who specializes in SID helped alot as did OT). BUT I think now he knows that in addition to being his biggest critic, I am his biggest fan. I expect nothing less than his best because I know he can do it, but also know there are times when he is "out of sorts" that it is just too hard. I have learned that he needs strict limits and boundaries and he will push against them as hard as he can to "test" them. BUT he then does better when he knows they will be enforced consistently. I think because he feels so out of control, he needs to know someone is "in control". Could this be part of what adam needs?

As he has learned to use words to express himself things have also gotten much easier. He knows if he tantrums, we may just end up in a stupid power struggle, but if he can use words to tell me the problem (my sneaker is too tight, the sound of the flourescent light is annoying, etc.) then I will work with him to make him more comfortable so he can succeed. He also knows that I will not allow him to stay in a situation where he tantrums no matter how much he may want to stay.

Anyway, didn't mean to write a book, but did want you to know that Adam will not always be this challenging. If you continue to work with him, he will improve. Validate and understand his sensory issues, but don't let him use them as an excuse to be miserable. Help him learn limits, boundaries and coping skills.

I still tend to be over protective of my IVF SID baby. I still swoop in and them realize I should let him fight his own battles. there are days that I still wonder who in the world thought I was the right mother for this kid. Those days are getting less though and the silly, joyful days I dreamed of during those dark days of IF are more plentiful.

Good Luck!"

Oh, I'm in Trouble!

2007-10-03T14:10:00.000-04:00

Was working on some stuff on the computer for the Miracle Walk on Sunday.

Turned around and saw Little Bit peering at me from over the back of the Love seat! What???!!! He is on the furniture???!!! How did that happen?

Assumed Maestro put him there. Nope. He had taken the cushions off which is what made it possible for Little BIt to get up there.

As scary as the possibility of him falling over backwards onto the floor and clunking his head, was seeing something brownish purplish peeking out of his mouth. Swept it out. Maestro informed me it was a crunchberry. OOOO ick! He was eating old cereal from under the cushions!

Of course I left him there while I took pictures. :) As I was taking them, I realized there was more in his mouth. Swept out 2 more crunchberries.

I need to go vacum the furniture!

Note to self: NO MORE SUGAR CEREAL!
NO MORE KIDS EATING IN THE LIVING ROOM!

Thursday Thirteen

2007-09-27T08:00:00.000-04:00

Thirteen Reasons I love to be the Mom of Boys Carol Anne

1) Rough and tumble "litter of puppies" rough housing

2) Trains, Legos, robots etc.

3) Butterfly kisses on every part of my face

4) Being the Queen of the house

5) Brush Cuts. ie. Not having to comb long tangled hair and form braids/pigtails in the mad scramble to get out the door in the morning. Most difficult hair crisis here is "make it spiky mommy"

7) scabbed knees poking out of cut off shorts

8) never having to play barbies

9) always getting the pink power range sticker at pediatrician

10) frogs!

11) Never having to explain why I refuse to buy bratz dolls

12) Bugs, Bugs, and more Bugs

13) "Mommy, I love you! When I grow up, I'm going to marry you and only you!"

Freaking myself out

2007-09-25T07:49:00.001-04:00

I really wish I had way to see inside my body and know what was going on. I'm having many strange weird nebulous symptoms and can't quite figure it out. some of them are digestive, so the primary doc sent me for a gall bladder u/s last week. It was negative as I knew it would be. My pains are either on my left side, or lower in my pelvic region. In the last week, I have felt as if I were stimming for an IVF cycle. I have also wondered if I were pg. I figured it was next to impossible, but a friend is pg after 2 forms of birth control failed, so stranger things have happened. Maybe my body is just gearing up to ovulate? I really have no idea what to expect. Little Bit night weaned so much earlier than his brothers that I guess I could O at any time.

It doesn't help that September is Ovarian Cancer Awareness month. Every time I turn around I am reading the symptoms in some magazine or other. I have several of them. It is truly freaking me out AND making me feel like a hypochondriac both.

So, off to the OBGYN I go next week. That appointment can't come too soon!!

Stolen Moments

2007-09-23T15:05:00.000-04:00

I have decided the strength of my marriage is going to be based on Stolen Moments. Moments that we find some way to be alone even amidst the chaos. Feel very connected and much in love with my sweetie right now and I think its because of just such moments.

Thursday was back to school night. I had hired a babysitter so we could both go and then thought duh! have her come early. Craig worked from home so he could leave ASAP instead of me anxiously awaiting his train and hoping he would make it in time to see the teachers. We just went to a local sandwich shop and sat outside eating a simple meal. It was wonderful. Peaceful.

Friday, Craig was supposed to have a "procedure" done that had to be canceled because they scheduled it with the wrong doc. He didn't want to cancel on the babysitter last minute and all ready had the time off work planned, so we skipped out and saw a movie and then went for a simple dinner. It was wonderful. Just to sit in the dark holding my hubby's hand with no one and nothing (ie.laundry/bills) yelling at me was wonderful.

Then, this AM. I was feeling lousy and decided a bath would help. Poor hubby was feeling neglected (boys were very needy both previous nights when we returned home, so there was no chance of "capping" the evening with romance). So I invited him to join me. The bathroom is the only room in the house with a lock. Baby went down for a nap and the big boys soon learned that we were having private grown up time and shouldn't open the door unless a) the house was on fire b) someone was spurting copious amounts of blood or c) there was at least one bone sticking out of someone's body where it shouldn't. We had a really lovely time despite the interruptions and my darling has been in a great mood all day.

Maybe now I can convince him we need a larger house with a master bath! ;)

Very Cool Product!

2007-09-21T21:34:00.000-04:00

A local family has created this new stroller/bicycle. It will premiere at a bike show in Las Vegas next week. I would love to get my hands on one!

This is a little too close to home!

2007-09-20T09:55:00.000-04:00

Long, but funny with a sweet ending. And sounds a little too much like my house, just add a screaming, overtired baby to the mix and you have my life.

Of course, I also have baby giggles and butterfly kisses and bug cities and a million other wonderful joys. I just have to remember these and forget the crying and the moaning and the whining and the fighting!

Living up to the title

2007-09-19T22:09:00.000-04:00

Live, Love Laugh feel like that is what I have done in abundance tonight!

What a wonderful evening we have had. Amazing to me that I was so down just a few short days ago and am no so filled with contentment and joy.

We ate dinner all together on the deck. Craig worked from home, so he was able to eat with us and even help me calm the baby while I finished carrying everything out. We brought the high chair out on the deck and Nathaniel entertained us all while we ate. Who needs television when you have a baby? He loved all the attention of us laughing at him and really hammed it up. He really is a little person now. Jonathan and I shared some inside jokes, Matthew covered my face and neck with Kisses. Everyone was laughing and joking. It was wonderful. Just what I dreamed of oh so many years ago when battling infertility.

Thank you God, Goddess, world, for such a wonderful day!

Child of the Computer Age

2007-09-18T19:31:00.000-04:00

I was such the cliche'd suburband SAHM today. Loaded up the minivan to do the drop off rounds, Daddy at the train, Galileo at elementary school and Maestro at preschool.

Anyway, at the train, the boys wanted to give Daddy a hug and a kiss, but there was no time and we didn't want them to get unbuckled in the kiss and ride zone. Craig said "blow me a kiss, I love you guys". Amidst the chorus of "I love you, Daddy"s, Galileo said "I blew you a kiss AND a hug".

As we drove away, I asked, "how do you blow a hug?" In his very nonchalant, straightforward 6 year old way, Galileo replied, "You hug your self, then you minimize it, then you blow". I couldn't stop laughing all the way up the hill.

Set me up to have a much better day!

My dream house

2007-09-17T22:43:00.000-04:00

Just thought I would share my "dream house". Its not a mansion, but seems to have everything we need and would be especially good on the Pain full days. Hope the link works.

Only problems with it are that it is pretty far from the trains station and I don't think the jitney goes there, there aren't many kids in that neighborhood, oh and the price tag. Yeah, thats it!

Actually one of Jonathan's best friends lives on that street and I really like his mom, so that is pretty cool.

Ah well, its nice to dream.....

Doing a little better today

2007-09-17T22:33:00.000-04:00

I managed to keep the kitchen relatively clean, order groceries to be delivered tomorrow so I wouldn't have to walk the aisles of our huge store, and fold much of the laundry that has been waiting. I also did all childcare on my own today as dh was gone until after 10pm. I know plenty of women do it on their own all the time but for me this is huge. Oh, I also made a few appointments I have needed to make for quite some time. More phone calls and appointments to make tomorrow including finding a sitter for Little Bit. Now, I must try to sleep.

Pain

2007-09-16T16:30:00.000-04:00

This blog started many many moons ago as a way to help me pull myself up out of depression. I have been doing quite well for some time now (as long as I am medicated) so I changed the description. This weekend was quite a downer though and I felt myself sliding.

I have been in significant pain since we returned from vacation. My right foot has been really sore, but so has my ankle and knee and my left hip. I was in a car accident years ago that shattered my right leg, wrecked my right knee and broke my left pelvis. The pelvis wasn't found until a year+ after the accident. The extent of the knee damage wasn't found until after I delivered Maestro (~12 years later).

It seems all the flip flop and Crock wearing I did this summer, especially on vacation, did a number on my joints. I got new shoes and cheap arch supports hoping to improve things, but it only got worse. Another pair of sneakers and it got worse still. I went to a podiatrist on Friday hoping that some orthotics would get my feet realigned and get me back on my way to comfort and health. His xrays showed severe arthritis in my ankle - worse than I realized. He agreed that I have severe overpronation . This may be what is causing all my pain and it may be that orthotics will fix it, BUT custom made orthotics are $425 and insurance is unlikely to cover them.

I can not function like this though. I am in so much pain that I didn't do anything fun with my boys like I had hoped to do during their Rosh Hashanah break. We could have gone to the zoo or apple picking or to the beach, etc. but I was in so much pain that just taking them across the road to ride their bikes was exhausting. sigh.....

Saturday was soccer. Morning soccer in the rain with Maestro and then afternoon soccer with Galileo. I sat through most of the games and Craig parked and fetched the car so I wouldn't have to walk far, but I was still in so much pain I couldn't sleep. I finally took half of a percoset in the hopes of sleeping enough to get up and have a good day on Sunday. Wrong! I woke with a migraine from hell, and it has continued all day. So much for starting to go to church (Unitarian Universalist). So much for the block party we were invited to by a neighbor, so much for enjoying a beautiful day with my family. After snapping at my husband and being a total bear, I spent the rest of the day in bed. At least Craig accepted my sincere apology and said all the right things.

I blame most of this on that f*#@ing car accident I had 16 years ago. I know I should be grateful to be alive and grateful to have my beautiful family etc, etc, etc, but it pisses me off no end that the accident that I fought so hard to come back from is still ruling so many of my days.

I am also frustrated by my weight. I was going great guns in the spring. Lost my first 10% by my birthday, but decided WW would be too hard to do during the summer with the boys home. I vowed to maintain my weight and enjoy the summer. I did fairly well until we went on vacation. I have now gained ~10lbs in less than a month. I really don't think I am eating that much more, but I do know I have done some emotional eating. I'm also just so frustrated by this pain that keeps me from being outside and active. sigh....

Well this long ramble is getting so boring and is accomplishing nothing. Mostly it just explains why I am finding myself sliding back into depression. I find my thoughts going places that I know aren't good and the only way I can find to stop them is sleeping. I'm going back to bed. Hopefully things will be better tomorrow.

sigh..........

Serendipity

2007-09-13T14:47:00.000-04:00

"ser·en·dip·i·ty (srn-dp-t)

n. pl. ser·en·dip·i·ties

1. The faculty of making fortunate discoveries by accident.

2. The fact or occurrence of such discoveries.

3. An instance of making such a discovery."

I have decided a believe I great deal in Serendipity. Call it coincidence. Call it being in the right place at the right time. Whatever, it seems to happen a lot in my life. The most recent brought chills. The other day, I was thinking about the fact that Little Bits birthday is coming and wondering what we should do to celebrate. A few hours later, I took the boys to buy a well earned Webkinz . The usual store we go to didn't have many choices and I was afraid Galileo would be disappointed, so we searched for another store. We went to one I have never been too in a place I rarely frequent. As we walked in, we saw a poster for the Miracle Walk for the NICU where Little Bit was born. It is on his first birthday. YAY! Now I know what to do. I 'm starting a team to walk and raise money. Then, we will have cake and ice cream with who ever can join us afterwards. We don't need anything for him, in fact the last thing we need in this tiny house is more stuff, so donation to the NICU are perfect. I'm so excited! I have been working on making my Personal Page and hope to send out emails to people tonight asking them to join us.

First Day of School Part 2

2007-09-10T14:01:00.000-04:00

Maestro started to school in the 4 year old room. He is now going 5 mornings a week. Poor boy has definite middle child syndrome. Made such a big deal about Galileo starting school last week. We took pictures, the whole family drove him etc, etc. Today as we turned off our street I realized we hadn't taken a picture. Luckily I had a little camera in my purse. Asked Matthew if a pic at school was ok, but he wanted one at home, so we went around the block and raced out of the car. Snapped a pic and raced back. Daddy was all ready working and baby was screaming at being left in the car.

Maestro was a little nervous about going to school, but did just fine when we got there. Ran right in and began playing. Wouldn't have even acknowledged my leaving if another mommy hadn't told him "say good bye your mom".

I was a little nervous about how the somewhat grumpy ready-to-retire teacher would do with him. Maestro has been so negative, obstinate and argumentative lately. BUT he did wonderfully. At pick up, the teacher told him he was a great kid and she was glad to have him in the class. Then told me that he did great. She's probably remembering Galileo and the challenges his sensory issues brought to her classroom. They sure are different kids.

Raving Lunatic

2007-09-09T14:06:00.000-04:00

That would describe me this weekend. Everything is getting on my last nerve. The big boys fighting, screaming, rough housing, the baby crying, dh is grumpy the house is a wreck, the laundry is a disaster (well its done, but not folded) the yard is a mess and on and on and on and on.

Yesterday I was exhausted and overwhelmed, so I did the oh so healthy (NOT) eat junk food and lay in bed thing. Today, I woke up feeling pretty good, but then got irritated when I was trying to get things done, the boys were fighting and dh had disappeared. Poor man was in bed. I went and rousted him out. So not fair of me, I know, but I need his help so I can put some order in our lives. Then, I have to find a way to maintain it. Our house is too small to let it get out of control and we simply can't afford a larger house right now. I railed all day yesterday about needing to finish the attic and basement. We need a place the kids can play/rough house/keep chokable toys etc. Only question is will they really agree to be on a different floor than me?

Maybe they need more attention. I have to figure this out. I hate yelling at them all the time, but they are making me insane! Maestro, my sweet joyful child has become angry and obstinate. Am I reacting to him or him to me? Or is he just very 4? Thank G-d he starts school tomorrow!

OK, back to work while they are out with dad and Little Bit is sleeping. Have to find a way to get balance back in our lives!

First Day of School

2007-09-05T09:05:00.000-04:00

Jonathan started first grade today. Hard to believe my little boy is growing up so fast. Such a cliche, I know, but true. I was told his teacher is the best and she was very sweet this morning. Ironically, she is the only first grade teacher I had met last year.

He was a holy terror yesterday morning. I realized it was nerves, so I went out to the front porch where he was in time-out to talk to him. He was relieved to know that everyone is nervous and its normal. We went in to school to drop off an immunization form and to see if his teacher had the same classroom this year. He had enrichment in her room last year and was glad to see she is in the same room. We also went out to the black top to see where he will line up. That all seemed to calm his nerves. Then we kept busy the rest of the day so he wouldn't have time to worry. Bought new shoes (he insisted on tie shoes and then got frustrated when he couldn't do them perfectly) went to Tinga (mexican) for lunch and then to a playground we rarely visit. It was a very pleasant last day of summer.

Now, its time to make a grocery list and load up the little boys. I still haven't been shopping since we got back from vacation!

(I still plan to post vacation pictures. Guess I better get on that soon, huh?)

Loon Call

2007-09-03T22:25:00.000-04:00

We are back from our 1,000+ mile odyssey through the Adirondack Mountain, the finger lakes of NY and the Mountains of WV. Much to report, but after much late night driving, unpacking, cleaning, doing laundry, getting the kids to the pool for one last hurrah of summer, I'm tired. So, I will leave you with one of the most beautiful memories of the trip. We listened to Loons calling to each other every night in the Adirondacks. Here is the second Loon call we heard quite often.

I hope to add more about the vacation with pictures soon. Of course, the back to school whirlwind starts soon, so maybe not.

I'm Obsessed!

2007-08-22T11:52:00.000-04:00

Blogging is obsession inducing! We arrived at a hotel at 3AM or after. First 5 we tried were full. Apparently the races at Saratoga Springs have the whole area booked to the max. Finally found a place and got in. Took the boys forever to settle and then baby woke at 6ish. I think I got 2 hours of sleep if I'm lucky. But in a few short hours I will be (said in a sing song voice) "on vacation in the mountains!"

Now, I really will be offline for the next week. No computer, no tv, no cell signal. WOOO HOOOO

God Willing and the Creek Don't Rise

2007-08-21T21:36:00.001-04:00

Looks like we are on the way out! 9:30 PM and we are finally going! We are hoping to make it to Albany to stay in a hotel. As my mom says, "God willing and the creek don't rise, we will pull into our campsite bright and early tomorrow. "See ya on the other side!"

Nope Not Today

2007-08-21T15:18:00.001-04:00

We STILL haven't left. I didn't get back from getting the brake assist repaired until 7:30. I was exhausted. By the time I nursed Little Bit and got him settled for the night I was passing out. Craig told me to go to bed. I woke up around 10 and was game to start packing, but he told me to stay in bed. It was lovely at the time, but we are still packing! Ah well, we have called Golden Beach and they will save our site for us for tomorrow. So, we will have a vacation eventually.

I hope we leave by dinner time, drive just North of Albany and spend the night in a hotel and then go on in the AM. Hopefully we can get up and moving early.

Hope our van can pull the trailer, I really think we are over packed. Cross your fingers, 'k?

Best Laid Plans

2007-08-20T09:54:00.000-04:00

Looks as though we won't be leaving today. We have been fighting electrical issues in the van for over a week. Finally thought we had them all fixed. Picked up the car from the Honda Dealer on Saturday. On the drive home, I heard a loud clunk. When I got home I realized there was a strange code on the brake assist. We ignored it and rushed off to the BBQ. Craig called the camping dealer who installed the brake assist just now and was told it indicates a serious electrical short somewhere in the line that MUST be fixed before we can drive the trailer. Negative, pessimistic, I-have-forgotten-to-take-my-happy-pills-for-several-days Carol would decide this new camper is an albatross, we never should have bought it, it was irresponsible to buy it on credit and now the Gods are making us pay. The Happy, Optimistic, Life is Good Carol says "oh good, now I have more time to pack!" We will go to Raquette Lake even if its in a tent, so why worry?

Hopefully the place 1/2 hour away can fix it so we don't have to drive 90 minutes south on the parkway back to the camping place to get it fixed. Now, time to get Little Bit and Maestro dressed and get Galileo and Maestro fed so we can take Little Bit to the PT. Can't wait to tell her that EI evaluated him at 9-10 months!

LOL! Felt guilty Blogging instead of packing. Told DH I needed to vent. He said "you blog until there is no vent left! All vents in da blog!" I love him

Ask and Ye Shall Recieve!

2007-08-19T20:44:00.002-04:00

So, I have been spending lots of time pondering how to make us a more social family, how to build a better community etc, etc., etc. Have decided to follow a friend's example and just roll with what life throws my way, be open to every opportunity and learn to be a good, relaxed host. All those things fell into place this weekend. We are about to embark on a two week camping trip that will take us from the Adirondack mountains to the mountains of West Virginia and have done no packing.

In years past, I would have been stressed for days, refused all invites and yet still floundered around and been late getting out. I decided that was no longer the way I would operate. So, yesterday we took the boys to a huge park in Montville that they love and then attended a BBQ at the home of one of Craig's fraternity brothers. We had a great time and saw someone from the neighborhood who I know in passing thanks to Mothers & More. I met her husband who I really enjoyed and plan to have them over for dinner sometime soon. They and another couple like to go camping, so I may also suggest a joint camping trip some weekend this fall. We stayed late had a blast and I gave almost no thought to packing.

I did miss another family who we expected to see there, but figured it gave me a good excuse to call them. Got up today and headed off to Costco and Target for supplies for our trip. When we got in the car for the trip home I realized Craig had called my cell phone several times. I hadn't heard it. HATE it when he does that to me, but he took it in stride. He informed me that the family we missed yesterday was at our house. They had thought the BBQ was today and headed up this way before they realized their mistake. When it started raining, L called us to find out if we were still going over. Craig said, "it was a great party. it was yesterday. Why don't you come here". I'm so proud of him, he put out snacks, got beverages, found toys for their boys to play with and called me.

As soon as I found out, we rushed straight home. When I arrived, E helped Craig unload the van and L folded laundry while I nursed Little Bit. We were trying to figure out what to do for dinner. L insisted we not cook for them since we are leaving on vacation tomorrow. Brilliant idea popped into my head. Last winter I had tried to take them to a hibachi/sushi restaurant near us while we left the boys home with a babysitter but the timing didn't work. I debated calling a babysitter last minute tonigh, and then decided to take the boys too.

It was awesome! Our boys tend to rev each other up, but except for a few moments of chaos, they behaved very well. Even Little Bit did well after I fed him.

The chef was very entertaining, the company was good and the food was great! The boys especially loved the flaming volcano.

Our boys always get along very well together, which makes it even more fun for the grown ups. I let them all play with my camera at one point when we needed them to be entertained for a few more minutes. Galileo organized the other three for this pic. It was a precious process that I only wish I had on video.

Now, I must update quicken and make sure just how much money we can spend of vacation. Then, I will finish with Mt. Foldmore and start packing. :)

What a great way to start vacation tonight was!

So Proud!

2007-08-19T09:32:00.000-04:00

Nathaniel pulled up for the first time today! He is crawling everywhere and starting to get into everything. He is soooo proud of himself! Let the baby proofing begin!

Brotherly Love

2007-08-18T19:07:00.000-04:00

I don't know who is prouder of Little Bit's crawling, him, Mommy or big brother. I love how much these two adore each other. Makes me want even more!

Early Intervention

2007-08-18T11:27:00.000-04:00

The Early Intervention team came to see evaluate Little Bit today. He has been getting private PT for Torticollis since the spring. His PT was starting to be concerned that he was falling behind in gross motor skills.

He had an explosion in the last few days and is doing just what he should. His adjusted age is 8 months 3 weeks. He is on the 9-10 month scale for gross motor. EI evaluator was slightly worried about his speech, but I'm sure its because he is concentrating on motor skills so much. He was babbling and "Da Da Da"ing a ton until a week or two ago. Now he is focused on crawling. I'm sure the speech will come in time.

They did make me wonder if he really needs the PT. Don't want to stop prematurely, but also don't want to keep going if he doesn't need it. Would rather spend the time and money at music class or gym class or whatever.

Ah well, its a beautiful day, time to get the kids outside!

Carol Anne

Need A Laugh?

2007-08-17T20:51:00.001-04:00

My boys and I were just wasting time avoiding shower time with You Tube. This had them giggling so hard I had to play it again.